Icebergs have many metaphors surrounding them. The main one associated is that things on the surface do not truly resemble the objective reality; the “tip of the iceberg” is just that, the tip of the entire object. There is much more found underneath the surface, a whopping 90%. Upon understanding this, it seems pretty evident and easy to apply to daily life. But that is just the tip of the iceberg.
Most humans go about their daily lives without thinking too much about their actions. They grab their coffee, get into road rages, get lunch from their favourite fast-food joint, marginalize a group unknowingly, make unnecessary comments about others’ hair and clothes, and listen to the same three songs over and over again. This is normal to most people. But why is it? Shouldn’t you never marginalize a group? How can you constantly berate someone for their hairstyle choice? While these questions remain rhetorical due to the medium they’re presented by, they are important questions nonetheless. The reason is to due with thinking, or a lack thereof.
See, we all have our own thoughts, desires, wants and needs, crazy theories and monumental ideas stored in our minds. These aspects of our being all contribute to how we attend our daily living. Our desires/wants make us make choices we wouldn’t have if we had different ones, our needs (we all have needs, but which ones are necessities?) force us to make choices without considering the alternative. It seems as if our living is predicated upon instant, split-second thoughts to decisions. Quite an observation, I know.
I propose a different way to think. Instead of thinking “Oh, that person’s shoes are ugly” try to think about why you care. Why does this matter to you? If their shoes are ugly, why does it affect you? Does it change anything about their personality if their shoes are ugly? Does it change anything about yours? Using this example, one will quickly realize something extraordinary: the shoes are ugly, to you. Now that the connection to subjectivity is made, its time to mould your thoughts in a different light. No longer should you go on the path of thought-destruction.
“Why does this person look this way?”
“Why are these people so *insert racial/sexist/transphobic comment*?”
“That particular thing I just witnessed was stupid/cringe/unattractive/bad/blasphemous.”
Digging deeper into your thoughts, actions and ideas lies truths that are waiting to be discovered. It feels liberating, to say the least, when you figure out the reason for your thought process and apply the correct measures to change it.
An example of this could be:
“I think Asian cuisine sucks.”
Then, dig deeper and try to figure out the root cause of this thought.
“Why do I think this?”
“Is it because I have tried an Asian dish and it was subpar?”
“What Asian cuisine am I referring to?”
“Where did this bias come from?”
“Is there a reason for this bias or have I lived with it without noticing?”
A hopeful outcome would be:
“Oh, I realized I have never tried any cuisine from Asia. I think I’ll try Indian tonight and see how that goes.”
There, that’s it! You have taken the first step in eradicating unwarranted, unproductive, destructive thoughts. There are many more examples to choose from, some more serious than others, but the point is that you understand that thoughts are like seeds. Every thought plants a seed in your thought garden, the more you think about it, the more it grows. What I am suggesting is that before you water that seed, look at the root. Was this root put there by you or by a presumption that you had in the past that doesn’t make sense to live with in the future? I guarantee you will be surprised with what you find.
While I am no “thought doctor” of any sorts, I do believe that society lives upon weird, destructive, unsupportive biases and expectations that not many people conform to, understand or even agree with. My interpretation of this is to live a life that is meaningful to YOU, not anyone else. There is no point living for other people when you only have yourself at the end of the day. Always remember, your grave holds only one person.