On My Kids Finding My Social Media

I just realized something rather disturbing. My kids will one day either ask to see my social media profiles or find it themselves. They’ll see all the podcasts, LinkedIn posts, Instagram stories, and more. They’ll see their Dad when he was 24, 27, 34, and more.

They’ll see Dad with friends he hasn’t spoken to in years or decades, women that are not their Mother, in places that he’d never allow them to go — until they’re old enough.

They’ll see Dad saying things and doing things that are almost alien to them, and to Him, since Dad is a standup man and always tells them to respect themselves and their bodies.

They’ll see Dad in mental and physical phases that don’t exist anymore, that were necessary for Dad’s growth and maturity, to be a better Dad. They won’t see Dad, though — they’ll see a younger version of Dad that had the seeds of Dad’s philosophy, but didn’t actually wield it until much later, until more experience was had.

When my kids find my social media, what will they say? Will they be curious? Of course. But what happens after? Will they be proud, disappointed, surprised? Will they try to emulate my social media in their little lives? Will they copy my old language and old patterns of behaviour, even my old captions?

If they do, what do I tell them? “Hey, don’t do that, it’s bad!” They’ll turn around and say, “Dad, you did it, AND you publicized it. So it can’t be that bad.” What do I say to this? Do I admit that I was wrong, and tell them that I made a mistake? Then they’ll ask why I hadn’t deleted it before? It couldn’t have been that big of a mistake if I chose to keep it online (forever). I’ll be caught in a catch-22.

What’s the best approach right now? I’m 24 years old and thinking about when I have children old enough to understand the shenanigans of a young man’s social media behaviours. Do I just delete everything? Then they’ll be even more curious and concerned as to what Dad was doing, and I won’t have any good answers (they’ll be my children, so they’ll be able to read my energy from very young).

Do I curate my social media (for them)? This may be even worse, since it’ll implicitly and explicitly teach them that Dad’s life went a certain way, and they won’t see the nitty gritty reality. Of course, they’ll have conversations with Dad as much as they can tolerate (since Dad LOVES telling them stories about his life) but they won’t see that represented on social media — which means that they might learn to treat social media as a different, external part of themselves which is absolutely not what Dad wants them to learn.

Social media is an extension of yourself, sure. But it doesn’t have to be a curated, perfected extension, because that doesn’t exist, and the pursuit of this is what causes people to undergo Snapchat dysmorphia and gain neurosis around their Instagram follower counts.

As it stands, I’m not sure what to do about my kids finding my social media. I want them to see me grow and mature as a man, as a Father, as someone they want to look up to, not someone they’re forced to listen to. But I also want to protect them.

Maybe before I show them my social media, I’ll give them my blog. Once they sit through all these posts, they’ll have had enough of Dad for a very long time.

And if you’re my future child reading this, I love you!